Good Grief! Ha sit been that long since I wrote. HO-HUM! Well, I DID spend Xmas on my own...and it was ok. (although I have to say, chicken noodles aren't really my dish of choice for Xmas lunch!! The Pernod was ok though!!!) I got a couple of E-Mails off Herr Mittman and the Saint... but bounced them back unread... NOT interested any more... I think I have finally burnt out all my anger, disappointment and what not towards Gerd now.... and i Feel soooooooooooooooooo much better for it!
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I am a bitch. I will stand up and take the boos and the hisses, but thats what I am. But I am An HONEST bitch........ thats the important thing. I will not be lied to or about. I think the Blessed St. M might be a little pissed, but I have come to the conclusion that, she has no scruples and no moral backbone anyway. As for Gerd? Who cares........ I should have thrown a spanner in the works months ago but I had too much of a conscience...luckily I have managed to stash that away somewhe...
I have just made a rather snazzy discovery on my other blog where I have a stats counter..... it also shows me the IP address(Please, those amongst you that are billy wizzes at this sort of thing, soit patiente avec moi!)..... and its been quite interesting to see who has been hitting the site.......... oh yes indeedy.... the UGB for one. Now theres a curious thing.... he won't text, e-mail or whatever, but he will hit the web pages on a regular basis......... will some-one please explain the...
ANOTHER dream filled night........... But this one was horrible... I woke up feeling.... well, Very very angry and twisted.... if you cut me now I would probably bleed sulphuric acid! Why am I always surrounded by lying, spineless, weak men? Men who lie to preseve their arse, are too cowardly to say what they REALLY think and too weak to know their own mind? I know I am stronger, emotionally and mentally than most men, and quite often physically too........ but this is now getting beyo...
Well! There you go! I made It to Forty. In one piece....a little frayed around the edges but otherwise ok! Things are much improved on both the emotional and physical front. Have just finished my chemo, and apart from feeling knacked its ok. I am slowly getting over the UGB.... its a long process but I will get there in the end. I am starting a CELTA course in January to become a TEFL teacher.... Prague here I come! So life is cool, andit will get cooler!
Well thats not strictly true. This year all my girls are away, Karli is with her Fiance Tom (bless), Frankie is with Warren and Boo is with Sean. For the first time in my life I will be spending Christmas alone.And it feels ok. I am actually a bit of a 'Bah Humbug' kind of girl when it comes to this particular festival. I cannot bear the hype, the expenditure and the falseness that goes hand in hand with it these days. Pease and Goodwill....agreat sentiment, but why wait until this time of...
T Tempting I Influential S Sultry A Ambitious N Natural E Edgy Name / Username: Name Acronym Generator From Go-Quiz.com According to this I am everything I don't think I am! IT is 22h30, and I am defrosting my freezer. Yes, I know that is not the usual form of entertainment for a Saturday night, but Frankie, in her wisdom, put 6 cans of coke in there the other day.... its suprising how much coll...
Frankie left at 06h30 this morning to go and spend the weekend with her father... see goes every fortnight and my ex and I have a really good relationship, to the point I am going to his wedding in April. And here is the problem... This is my first weekend alone since the split/diagnosis/termination... and its a horrible place I find myself. I got ready to go to the shops this morning, walked out the door, and bottled it. I couldn't do it. I didn't want to be out. Then my friend in Ma...
I read another joeuser's blog yesterday, and posted a comment which was reciprocated.... God, it is such a relief to know you are not the only one. When your heart gets broken and your universe falls apart, you can feel like you are the only person in the world who feels that way. You begin to resent the world and his dog for getting on and leading a 'normal' existance while you are turning into a psycho-neurotic... you go through the motions, you smile sweetly and nod when everyone tells ...
God Give Me Strength- Bacharach/Costello Now I have nothing, so God give me strength ’cause I’m weak in his wake And if I’m strong I might still break And I don’t have anything to share That I won’t throw away into the air That song is sung out This belle is rung out he was the light that I’d bless he took my last chance at happiness So God give me strength, God give me strength I can’t hold onto him, God give me strength When the phone doesn’t ring And I’m lost in imagini...
Have just thrown my printer across the kitchen... Don't ask why, it just seemed the most natural thing to do after the bloody thing wouldn't work..... I really must do something about my knee jerk reactions though.... Well, thats it, the UGB is back in Germany tomorrow.... back in the uk Tuesday (I think).... do I think I will hear anything? Truth... I don't have the faintest Idea... do I care? OF COURSE I BLOODY WELL DO! The ironic thing is.... I have potential B/F crawling out of th...
What have I done? In a fit of pique with the university, I have (to myself at least) decided to jack it all in and go back to work....so will someone please tell me why I have applied to Virgin Atlantic? I HATE flying!!! (actually no, I don't, I just find it incredibly boring.....) If I am totally honest, I have the suspicion that my need to return to work is fuelled by my ever increasing shoe fetish...(NO! not that way Numpty!)... at the last count I had well over a hundred....
I have a blog with Bravenet, but it is aimed specifically at certain people ... and I kinda guess its the inner workings of my soul...a deep and putrid place already morgaged to the dark side! So this one will be the blonde and fluffy version....although it makes me wonder if perhaps I am feeding into my psyche's need to have multiple personalities!! So where am I? (in a metaphysical sense... in a literal sense I am obviously sat in front of the computer)I am swiftly approachin...